


2 A.M.

by Hitsugi_Zirkus



Category: Free!
Genre: Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M, Romance, Secrets, Tumblr: makoharufestival, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-24
Updated: 2014-03-24
Packaged: 2018-01-16 20:06:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1360084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hitsugi_Zirkus/pseuds/Hitsugi_Zirkus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Normal people wouldn’t crave diner food at 2 a.m., but Haruka’s having a restless night and the pools are closed. Besides, all he can keep thinking about is one handsome waiter with a knack for catching the graveyard shift.</p>
            </blockquote>





	2 A.M.

**Author's Note:**

> More hanakotoba! Kuchinashi is Japanese for the flower gardenia, which means “secret love”.
> 
> I totally didn't have "Breathe (2A.M.)" by Anna Nalick on repeat as I wrote this. Nope. Dunno what you mean.
> 
> The second-to-last entry I have to post! The last one I want to do some editing on because I originally wanted it to be longer. It'll probably not be up until next weekend because I'm working on my Pandora Hearts series' and also am still thinking how to have a sequel to "Sunset Under Bluebells". 
> 
> Can anyone tell me how to post links here? Hahaha (I am still a noob).

“ _Haru, are you okay_?”

Beep.

“ _You didn’t come by today. Are you alright_?”

Beep.

“ _Haru… you can forget what I said then. It’s okay, it didn’t matter. I hope you’re okay_.”

Snap. Haruka closed his phone and stared at his ceiling, feeling boneless. He’d been going back and forth between the three emails almost obsessively for the past hour. Every time he told himself to let it go and go to sleep, his fingers grazed over the phone’s smooth surface and he thought he had to read them one more time.

All the emails were from a waiter he met at a diner two blocks from his apartment half a year ago. The sender could easily walk to his place and knock on the door if he really wanted to know if Haruka was okay. Though to be honest, Haruka doubted himself in being able to answer if that ever happened. It didn’t stop part of him for waiting expectantly.

The boy’s name was Makoto Tachibana. He had the physique of someone that showed he did more than lift up heavy trays. He was taller than Haruka, but despite his size, Haruka thought he had the most gentle face of anyone he had ever seen, like the smallest thing could make him cry. The contrast was funny, especially given they were both twenty-one.

It was a bit strange how they became friends. It was probably one of the most least likely things to happen. Makoto was a waiter at the diner Kuchinashi (never allowed in the kitchen ever because, Makoto would admit with an embarrassed face, he all too often ruined dishes), and had the misfortune of always getting stuck with a graveyard shift. That was because, as Haruka found out, Makoto was a bit of a pushover, and could never let someone else work until 4 a.m. if it turned out he was perfectly capable of doing it. Eventually those became his regular hours of working.

“My classes at the university aren’t until the afternoon anyway, so I have time to sleep,” Makoto explained once with a smile. He always smiled, always. Haruka wondered if his cheek muscles ever hurt. “Although I have to admit, since this is my last year, it hasn’t been easy. A lot of school work is being piled on me.”

“Then don’t work,” Haruka said in his usual terse way.

“I can’t do that! I need the money, Haru.”

Haruka thought Makoto made things so complicated sometimes. That could because Haruka refused to take on anything that was too troublesome and therefore didn’t understand such matters (not to mention his parents were well off enough that he was okay with college expenses, and his apartment was rather cheap).

Even so, there wasn’t a lot Haruka could find to complain about Makoto, no matter how much he hated interacting with people. Makoto refused to leave him alone though, something only his best friend Rin had been able to do. Though whereas Rin basically headbutted himself in his life, Makoto came in more into Haruka’s world with the little things.

“ _We had two pieces of mackerel left, so I told them to give the other to you. Don’t worry, it won’t cost extra!”_

_“Hey, it’s kind of cold today. Did you want to borrow my gloves?”_

_“Haru-chan, I heard there’s going to be a great dolphin documentary on T.V. later, you should watch it_!”

Every time, said with his smile. There was no way someone that kind existed, certainly not someone who insisted on taking on everything himself and worked at a diner past midnight. Most of all, if someone like that did exist, there was no way they would see anything worthwhile in Haruka. And yet four days ago…

“Hey… Haru-chan?”

Haruka was distracted that night. He had stayed up trying to finish up his painting portfolio, and had watercolors smeared on his fingertips. He was so out of it that night he didn’t even give Makoto an annoyed look because he said his name so childishly.

“Mn?”

Makoto was biting his bottom lip, cheeks a bright red as he clutched his notebook with Haruka’s usual order of the mackerel dish and water written in it. “Um, th-that is… I-I really hope this isn’t weird, but i-it’s just…” His cheeks were getting redder, but his eyes were focused on Haruka. “H-Haru, I… I really like you. I like you a lot!”

Haruka stared at Makoto. Was that it? Was that why he became such a sputtering mess? There was no way he was that unapproachable, right? Raising his brows slightly, he said, “Okay. I actually like you too.”

Reading Haruka’s reaction, Makoto shook his head. Luckily, at 2 a.m., there weren’t many people around, save for the small group of friends on the other side of the diner. “Haru, I don’t think you get it. I like you as more than a friend. I want to spend even more time with you, a-and hold hands and stuff - that kind of thing. So, I really, really… _like_ you!”

Haruka closed his eyes, in his room. He didn’t want to remember anymore. He had been replaying the memory in his head for four days, and it never got any better. The fragile desperation in Makoto’s eyes for Haruka to understand. Seeing something in those eyes break when Haruka calmly said he had to go home and left the diner without answering Makoto.

Every night after that, Makoto emailed him. Asking if he was okay. Dancing around the subject but Haruka never responded. Until that night, when he received no email at all.

“ _Haru… you can forget what I said then. It’s okay, it didn’t matter_.”

The same darkness was there whether his eyes were open or closed, and Haruka knew it was going to be a night without any sleep unless he took matters into his own hands. Haruka rolled over again on his stomach, glancing at the digital clock on his cluttered nightstand. The numbers 1:30 glowed in blue on his face and he took a breath, swinging his legs over the bed.

Going out to swim to clear his head would be ideal at the moment, but Haruka knew all the pools were closed. One downside in moving away from his hometown in Iwatobi was that he could no longer go out in the ocean as a last resort. He could break in though, and it wasn’t like he hadn’t before.

Haruka zipped up his pants. His swimsuit was still on beneath them as always. He decided to leave the shirt he already had on on, since he’d wear a coat to brave the February cold. He glanced again at his clock. 1:34.

His mind ticked along with the seconds, thinking, arguing impassively with himself; a simple back and forth of  _Yes. No. Yes. No_. When he finally exhaled through his nose, it was a yes. Even with his swimsuit, he knew he wouldn’t be breaking into a pool that night. Well, if anything they made him feel comfortable. Making sure to grab his wallet, Haruka went out to his door and shrugged on his long coat before heading out.

Kuchinashi was at a corner two blocks down, and it took Haruka less time than he thought to spot the glowing white flower on the diner’s face. Haruka realized with a start that he hadn’t been thinking much during his walk, and that maybe he should have. Then again, his thoughts had been pretty active the past few days. He checked his phone. 1:55. And still no new email. That made sense, if Makoto was working. Even if there was never booming business at that hour.

It was a bit stupid, he knew, but nothing stopped Haruka from sending Makoto a quick email that he was going to the diner.  _Maybe he’s not working tonight though_. Haruka didn’t want to wait around longer outside to find out.

Makoto’s coworker and friend Nagisa was the host that night, and he got a huge smile on his face at seeing Haruka. “Haru-chan! You haven’t been by lately, were you busy?” Before Haruka stepped in, Nagisa looked bored, but was now bouncing.

“Uh. Somewhat,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. “Is Makoto working today?”

“He is,” Nagisa chirped, blond curls bouncing along with him. He slowed down a bit though, looking worried. “Mako-chan hasn’t been himself lately. He still goes about normally, but something still seems to be getting him down. He won’t tell me anything about it though…” Nagisa perked up again. “But I think seeing you will make him happy, Haru-chan!”

_Let’s hope so_. Haruka nodded.

Nagisa began leading him further into the diner. “Want to sit in Mako-chan’s serving area?”

Nodding again, Haruka followed Nagisa. He looked over near the kitchen area where the idle waiters usually loitered about, but didn’t see Makoto. Did he receive Haruka’s email? Nagisa seated him in one of the corner two-seat tables usually used by couples. Haruka just liked it because it didn’t take up a lot of space.

“Alright, I’ll get Mako-chan here in a jiffy!” Nagisa made a beeline for the kitchens, already calling for Makoto.

Haruka’s stomach twisted in knots. There was a couple in another corner, and a group of four friends over at a booth. There were even two men sitting near the bar area, which actually wasn’t a bar so much as dining on a high stool. In all, it was pretty busy for 2 a.m. The chatter was light in the sweet-scented place, and a popular pop artist was playing overhead. Haruka picked at the plastic on the corner of his menu, not relaxed very well despite the setting.

Would Makoto be mad at him? That was barely even a question. Makoto never got mad at someone. He was certainly capable of scolding, but Haruka had never seen him angry. Thinking back to the confession, it more looked like Makoto would finally burst into tears. That made Haruka’s chest feel heavy. Did…Makoto cry in the past few days because of this?

There was a yelp from the kitchen area and Makoto stumbled out, looking too much like he had been pushed out. Most likely by Nagisa. Makoto looked like he was going to run back before he caught Haruka’s eyes. He composed himself a bit, walking to Haruka. “Ah. Welcome to Kuchinashi.”

“Hey. Did you get my email?” Stupid question since he sent it thirty seconds before he even went inside.

But Makoto nodded, looking down. “Ah, I did. Thank you for coming by.” Haruka realized Makoto meant it as a waiter and not as his friend. Makoto took out his little notebook and a pen. “Um, so will it be the usual for you tonight, Haru?”

Haru. It felt good that Makoto could still say his name. Even so, the bags under Makoto’s eyes and the quiet tone that he spoke in simultaneously annoyed and worried Haruka. He knew Makoto was trying hard to put on a positive front like always, and that upset him. Makoto should be allowed to ask Haruka what the heck he was doing there after not answering his emails, after bailing out after a confession that surely wasn’t easy for Makoto to make.

With that thought in mind, Haruka reminded himself to remain composed. “I’ll get whatever you like,” he said. He wasn’t in the mood for mackerel at the moment. He never knew why he visited the diner to get some when he was perfectly well-stocked at home.

_Probably because it feels better to eat it here than there_.

Makoto looked surprised at his request. “Huh? You sure?”

“I don’t mind. You don’t have the worst taste, so it’ll be fine. A glass of water too would be good.”

There was an upward twitch of Makoto’s lips, and something momentarily fond filled his eyes. “You know I automatically put that down anyway, Haru,” he said with a tiny chuckle. “Okay, I’ll be back.”

Haruka exhaled. Maybe things would be able to go more smoothly than he thought. He should never have underestimated how understanding Makoto could be. It was difficult for him to voice, but the heart of the matter was that Haruka didn’t want to stop seeing Makoto. It had only been six months, but if he was suddenly left without Makoto, then, in the way only Haruka’s mind could conclude, he’d have nowhere to go when he was restless.

_That’s not why_.

Haruka sighed. Ever since Makoto’s confession, there had been some new voice inside his head, murmuring new thoughts Haruka never had before. They made him feel warm, and his heart beat faster. And sometimes he’d sit down or lay in the pool to listen to that voice. It wasn’t particularly bothersome, until it told him to do things, and not in a slasher film way.

_I should tell Makoto how I really feel about him_.

Things like that. Except when it came to wondering what indeed he felt for Makoto, there was only a huge blank. Ideas did come up, but in the forms of meaningless sentences like how Haruka liked Makoto’s real smiles, or how he could probably easily lift him, or that in return for the information about the documentary that one time, maybe he should teach Makoto how to cook.

As for how he actually felt about him… He couldn’t really sum it up well to an actual emotion. It was a secret his heart seemed to like keeping. He did like Makoto, which was a great accomplishment considering the only other people he liked were Rin and his fellow art classmate Rei. Nagisa was slowly but surely getting there.

What came after “like” though? What was “more than a friend” like Makoto said? Haruka had thought about it and the voice supplied him only with “love”. But love was…how to put it? Wasn’t love romance movies and the color red? Wasn’t it giving flowers and sleeping next to each other?

To put it bluntly, Haruka had no experience on such matters, even in his own mind. He never had any crushes, and hadn’t fallen in love before (except with water, but that was a different matter entirely; he didn’t need to form words with water, only let the sensations wash over him).

“Here’s your drink, Haru.” Makoto set a glass of cold water down. He was still smiling, but it wasn’t his real one yet. “I went ahead and ordered for you, so I hope it’ll be fine.”

“I already said it was, so it is,” Haruka said. He made to grab his glass but instead rubbed his fingertip against the condensation, thinking. “Hey, Makoto?”

Makoto, already about to leave, froze. “Ah, yes?”

“Are you really going to forget four days ago?”

Makoto was making a face like he’d rather not remember and wished Haruka wouldn’t either. “I know it was weird,” he finally said quietly. “That’s why I said it doesn’t matter.” He offered a smile. “We can just forget it. I will soon enough.”

Haruka remembered Nagisa’s words on how down Makoto had been and frowned. Makoto was acting small and wounded. It was sad to watch, and it annoyed Haruka that he was like that. Makoto deserved to be honest with his feelings. Haruka, for all his impassiveness, wore his heart on his sleeve. It took a lot to make a feeling impress itself on him, but when it did, it was very easy to see it on his face, because he let things go like that. Just like with water, it was better to go with the flow. Trust the flow.

Makoto fought the flow as much as he could.

“Don’t forget something like that. It’s all you made me think about these past few days,” Haruka said, making sure his eyes were locked with Makoto’s.

Makoto looked surprised. “Huh? B-but you never emailed me back…”

“I wasn’t going to you with unfinished thoughts,” Haruka explained simply.

Biting his bottom lip, Makoto slowly nodded. He was hunching over a bit, like he wanted to shrink himself down to be unnoticeable. Haruka was pinning him to the spot though.

“Makoto, you’re…” The words jumped everywhere in his mind but froze in his throat. Even in just six months, Haruka found Makoto to read him incredibly well. He couldn’t read minds though, and even if Haruka stared and stared and just hoped that would be enough for Makoto to understand, he knew it wouldn’t be. For once, Haruka had to push a little more.

“You’re…really nice.” A start. Lame and vague, but a start. “So I thought when you said that, you were just being nice. More like,” he lowered his eyes, scratching at his glass, “I didn’t understand what you were doing saying that to me. I’m not like you. I’m not…very nice.”

When he glanced up, Makoto had a look in his eyes that looked like he wanted to protest, but was remaining silent. One of the teenagers at the booth waved, trying to call Makoto over to refill her tea.

“I-I’ll be right there,” Makoto said, then focused right back on Haruka.

He mentally cursed at the interruption. Was he doing okay? Were his words making sense? Haruka fumbled more inside his mind, looking for those ideas he had about his feelings. He breathed steadily.

“Since I’m not like you, it shouldn’t be right for you to feel that way about me. That’s what I thought. Even though the mackerel you gave me for free that one time was really good. I barely realized when I got home that your hands would be cold after lending me your gloves. That dolphin documentary was good and I thought maybe I wanted to visit the aquarium when it’s not busy. Do you like aquariums?”

Makoto blinked. “Yeah.”

“We can go sometime maybe. If you want.” Haruka’s face heated up quickly. Wait, wrong words! Wrong words! He had to get back on track. Feelings! Makoto and feelings! He was looking down at Makoto’s shiny black shoes now.

“It’s not flowers or whatever is in movies, but it’s obvious you liked me. I don’t know how…to show you that I like you too.” Wow, it was hot… “As more than a friend. Holding…hands and stuff…like you said…”

“Haru?”

His voice was getting really quiet. Makoto was probably bending down to hear him. “It’s really quiet in my apartment. I want to keep seeing Makoto at dumb hours of the night when I can’t sleep in that big, quiet place by myself.”

“Haru,” Makoto breathed, his voice sounded like it was flooding with warmth.

_Don’t say my name like that_. He wasn’t used to being the focus of someone’s happiness. Even though it was true that Makoto gave him peace of heart too.

It was all he could muster, and he wanted to go back home after saying things that were at least ten times more embarrassing than Makoto’s words. If he left now though, it would be the same as him having said nothing, wouldn’t it? Or would just this be enough?

“Haru,” Makoto said his name again. Haruka realized with a start that Makoto was crouching on the ground, tilting his head so that their eyes met. Makoto was smiling. It was finally a real smile, that made his green eyes look full with happiness. “Is it weird that you’re making me want to kiss you now?”

Haruka really wanted to run back home and bury himself in his blanket. Or maybe submerge himself in the nearest pool, night guards and locked gates be damned. But his body wasn’t listening to him and he murmured, “You can do that later. When you go home with me.”

Makoto looked surprised again. “Huh? Haru, I don’t get off for another two hours, are you sure?”

“Are you going to remind me how much I hate that place when I’m restless?”

It seemed that Makoto heard the words that he wouldn’t say and reached out to squeeze Haruka’s hand on his lap. “Okay. I’ll go home with Haru-chan tonight.”

He couldn’t stop himself from rubbing his thumb against Makoto’s wrist once. “Mm.”  _You better_.

“Excuse me, sir?”

Makoto and Haruka broke out of their spell, remembering the teenager from earlier. “Ah, I’m sorry!” Makoto said, getting up - and sliding his hand away from Haruka’s in the process. “I’ll get the pitcher!” He gave Haruka a glance.

“It’s okay.”  _I’m not going anywhere_.

“Will you really be okay for two hours?”

Haruka quirked a smile. “I’ll eat slowly.”

Makoto laughed, heading back into the kitchen and looking a lot happier than before.

As soon as he disappeared, Haruka felt the uneasiness that had been in his chest all night lift. Somehow, he had done it. He still couldn’t quite say it, that he loved Makoto. But his feelings still reached him. Haruka felt like that was what mattered most.

The smile he had quirked before widened a little bit more.

There were plenty other restless nights to tell Makoto exactly how he felt.


End file.
